![clementine ford clementine ford](https://c8.alamy.com/comp/CG18EH/jul-30-2007-hollywood-ca-usa-clementine-ford-daughter-of-cybill-shepherd-CG18EH.jpg)
Unfortunately, it’s a commonly cited frustration among a lot of feminist women I encounter: that their husbands, who they maintain are ‘really great in lots of ways’, are still men who lack an essential curiosity about the political and personal interests of their wives. It concerns me that your husband has married a feminist woman, yet as you say ‘glazes over’ whenever you try to discuss these matters with him. Their well being has to be nurtured and if there is any perceptible threat to that - even if just via the casually sexist attitudes of their father - you have to be the one to intervene. But you should also consider what it might mean for you and your sons if the future if is going to be filled with more of these specific kinds of teachable moments.īecause I want to strongly impress on you the fact that this isn’t just about a single word or action on your husband’s part - this is about the environment that’s being created in your home, which is where your children should be able to feel completely accepted and fiercely loved, by people who will always offer them refuge from precisely the kind of shaming mechanisms your husband has introduced them to at such an early age. I know that dissolving a partnership is extremely complicated, and it probably seems like a huge overreaction to what could ultimately lead to a good learning opportunity. So the very first thing I would advise you to do is to spend some time with both of your boys, creating a space in which they can feel fully safe and protected from judgment, and in which they are reminded of the fact that they can always trust you to be this person for them. At 3, your son may be too little to fully comprehend his father’s exact meaning but he will almost certainly glean the intent. I cannot help but think of my own son (who is also 3) and how he would react to being mocked in such a cruel and vicious way. Photo: Gettyįirstly, let me just validate your anger by offering to share the weight of it with you. A mum is worried about toxic masculinity in her home.